“first of the gang to die”
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11/07/11
I'm here.
Thursday, September 2, 2010 || 9/02/2010 08:15:00 PM
You made a difference.
1) I'm sorry that sometimes I always assume you're being dramatic again when you say you can't feel like we're your true friends. I won't blame you anymore, maybe we're sharing the same feeling. I'm not sure what a friend is anymore. There are still those times when I hate your demands and all but I really appreciate that you got what I was trying to make you guys feel. And I'm really thankful for that. So now I know that those simple gestures can make a big difference. But then, again, you still constantly do things that are so hard to tolerate. Just when I thought you've changed.
2) You're really easy to get along with, we share same thoughts most of time. Well, I should say "we shared" It's very different now, you're changing and I don't know if it's just me who's feeling it but you're really making me go on a emotional roller coaster ride here. You're there, then you're not. And, I always put aside the things that are actually facts already but you feel bitter and have to insist things that are nonsense. Anyway, the point is, It hurts that I'm trying to back off for you but you're sticking up for the wrong reasons. I wonder if you actually care. I know that I have my own faults too but I always make it up to you. It sucks that what make you feel good makes me feel bad and worse is you don't seem to care. You were a good friend, please be one again.
3) I miss you a lot. You're a very good friend, I really want to talk to you but we don't have the time. You're really an important friend but I don't know why I don't give much effort in spending time with you. I promise myself to talk to you heart to heart and I want you to feel that you're my friend, because you are.
4) We always have the time to talk about almost anything before. I always try to say something that will hopefully get a good reply from you but you don't react much. I hope you know that it really really feels awful. We're not close like before anymore but it's surprisingly expected. I don't know why but when I met you, I know you won't stay for that long. I know, I'm as boring as a brick, maybe that's why. And you're way too smart and nice. Sometimes I even feel that you're too perfect but in a way, being perfect makes you unperfect.
5) Please, don't act as if you don't know me, my whole name and my grade's history. =)) I know I've been very mean to you, please forgive me. You're still someone who's part of me. Don't worry, you're not THAT unworthy not to remember.
6) You're such a good friend, only problem is sometimes you like assuming and stealing my husbands. xD Okay, next time, I should talk to you minus the theories, yes, I know, that's going to be really hard.
7) Thanks for missing me. It's really sad that we're not close anymore. We grew apart. Or maybe, you're all grown up now. And I'm not, i'm still this stupid, messy and clumsy kid.
